I'm currently at an Internet kiosk at SIA (Thank God I'm not at EBMS training). Instead, I'm in Vegas at the ski and snowboard show. Being here is so relevant. Keeping a finger on the pulse of all of our retailers' markets is crucial. Shaking hands. Admiring how dialed in SIA is when it comes to putting on a show.

But there are other things too. Not-so-fun things. People renting motorized wheelchairs when they don't need them and rolling four-deep with 40-oz's over innocent ski shop buyers (think the Monster Carts were out of control?). Almost dying on the way here (holy turbulance), losing luggage (Doog still doesn't have his) and having to share the same city with George Bush (Air Force One shut the airport down for hours yesterday after weather had already canceled days and days of flights in LAS).

But here in the halls of Mandalay Bay, there is something far more disturbing. At first it barely bothered me. But it quickly crescendoed to a compulsion.

I've been staring, dumbfounded, at snowboarder ass all week and I couldn't let this go another minute longer without addressing it publicly.

Trends are always weird. But this one is awful. Men in tight pants is hardly a new thing. We knew it would come back. Punk rock will always mean tight pants. But in today's testosterone-driven action-sports universe? I hardly could've predicted it would surge in the '08.

There are a few subgroups of this:

The emo kid. Most likely wearing his sister's pants. Skaters (et al) made fun of these kids for years until they started wearing them themselves...

Skaters. They wear the men's version of these pants, and they wear them almost to size. The skinny guys pull them up all the time but they still slide down their bony asses. Skating makes them fall down, too. But it's not these guys I have the problem with. It's the ones who wear them too tight and get a huge sausage gut hanging over the top. The lower settling of the waistband adds a few inches to bunch up above their Lakais. Stuff their gut into a tight T-shirt and you have a complete package. Add in a beatnik beanie and a velvet blazer. I have seen too much of this at the shows this season. I thought people made FUN of Bam? Looks like he's still setting the trends.

The snowboard kid, however, has taken this to new heights. Or lows. They're the worst. They wear belts to hold up the stretch pants. Not at the waist, but at the equator of the ass; barely held up most likely by their frontal areas. Sean O heard that the origin of this style is from prison. No need to explain further. I'm sure this isn't the reason they wear them this way.

-VV